It's the AIDS

Alex: I remember writing this script. Wow, it looks more in-sensitive when you see it written like this.

Mike: Alan can take it...in the bum, that is! CHA-CHING!

Michelle: I like the technicolor portrait of Michael on the wall.

Alex: I thought it was an andy worhal thing

Mike: Jenn will be happy; she suggested the Andy Warhol picture.

Anonymous Asshole: Shouldn't it be "the cancer"?

Mike: I think Alan would pee his pants no matter what you called it.

Alex: I think Alan just plain pee's his pants.

Anonymous Asshole: ur sooo stupid

Mike: Is that you, Alan?

Michelle: Alan should really get that pants-wetting thing checked out. Incontinence is sure to unimpress on the first date!

Mike: I thought chicks dug that...I guess it's been a while since I've been on a date.

Michelle: Judging from your current relationship status, something must have worked... although I question not what!

Mike: Maybe I found someone who likes that sort of thing? Ever think of THAT?